Believe in Me
by MedliSage
Summary: It's not as easy to deny your feelings when a fractured dimension based entirely off them arises. Jude/Milla.


"DODA here. We've detected a new fractured dimension. The rift is located in Hamil..."

"Never an easy day for Ludger it seems like," Jude said, turning his attention away from the voice on Ludger's phone and toward Milla, standing next to him. "You coming along?"

"Yes, I'd like to," Milla said, her eyes not meeting Jude's. "I think it would be best if I explored one of these fractured dimensions myself before heading into the one containing the final waymarker. You intend to go as well?"

"Yeah. I want to help as much as I can."

"Still just as much of a do-gooder, I see." She looked over at him, a soft smile on her face, and Jude smiled back, his heart giving a small flutter before dropping back down twice as hard.

Since the events on the _E.S.S. Palune_ yesterday, he had not gotten a chance to speak privately with Milla. When he first saw her, it was the first thing he wanted to do, besides hold her close and keep her there so they were never apart again. But now he wasn't sure if he even wanted that at all.

"_I can only remain here for a finite amount of time."_

The words kept ringing in his head over and over again. He should have expected it. Yet still when she said it, he had felt his heart shatter.

...But it didn't matter. He couldn't dwell on it. This was how things were. This was how they had to be. And no matter what… they would be together. They would always be connected.

So this was fine.

He fingers dug into his palms.

They stood now on one of the bridges in Nia Khera. Their original intention was to find a quiet place to stay as Spirius finished preparations for the retrieval of the final waymarker, but now it seemed there were other plans.

"So we're headed for Hamil," Milla said as Ludger hung up his GHS. "Would it be alright if I accompanied you?"

Ludger nodded, and although Elle crossed her arms and pouted rather viciously, she remained silent.

Minutes later and the world was dissolving around them, soon replaced by the familiar surroundings of Hamil.

"So the divergence catalyst is the existence which differs most from the prime dimension," Milla said, "and when Ludger is near one, his Chromatus will react. Correct?"

Jude nodded. "Right. So usually -"

He stopped as Elle's loud gasp cut through the air, and she pointed down the path in front of them. "Isn't that one of the Four Great Spirits?!"

Everyone's heads turned, and sure enough, there was Sylph, soaring up to the top of a tree. He paused at a large branch, where a lone child sat, his knees huddled to his chest. Sylph circled the boy once, before slowly and delicately lowering him onto the ground in a gust of air, in front of whom was probably his mother. They exchanged words inaudible due to the distance at which everyone stood from them, and then in a flash of light Sylph was gone.

"This world's version of myself must be nearby," Milla mused, a hand on her hip. "She may know something if we ask her. Though it's odd that I would be here…"

"A-another one of you…?" Elle said solemnly, her eyes cast to the ground.

"Let's go ask that person," Jude interjected, and as they walked over to the woman he suddenly wasn't aware if he had said that so suddenly to try to take Elle's mind off the idea of seeing _yet another_ Milla, another Milla that would inevitably _die, _or if it was to tear his own mind away from it.

"Excuse me," he said, "do you know where the woman who summoned Sylph just know is?"

The woman only laughed, crossing her arms. "What do you mean, kid? I'm right here."

The group was silent for a brief moment, before Milla stepped forward, a hand on her hip. "Do you mean to say that you're the one who summoned Sylph?"

"That I did. Does that surprise you folk?"

"Well, uh, yes," Jude said. "We were under the impression that no one has been able to summon any of the Four for about twenty years now."

Again, the woman laughed. "Where you have you all been? Sure, that was true, but I thought everyone knew by now that people have been summoning the Four again, since… oh, I don't know, about a month ago, maybe. I've heard that it's because Maxwell gave up their position. Apparently gave it to some other spirit, and the new Maxwell lets the Four run free. I don't know how true that is, myself, though. I heard it off some Elympion who passed through here the other day, one of those fancy spyrite researchers. Anyway, I've got to see my kid home, now. You folks take care." With only a brief wave, the woman turned and hurried off, her child close behind.

A heavy silence enveloped the group for a moment. "So, in this world, Milla isn't Maxwell…" Jude finally said, his voice a bit quiet.

"Indeed," Milla said, her arms folded. "Disturbing, but true."

"Do you think that whoever took over her place is this dimension's catalyst?" Ludger asked.

"No," Jude responded immediately, his eyes not facing them, but toward the horizon across the mountains. "From what that woman said, it sounds like this world's Milla willingly stepped down from her position as Maxwell. And that's the farthest thing from the Milla I know." A short pause, while Jude bit his tongue. "So I think that would be our catalyst."

"...I'm inclined to agree," Milla said after a moment, "however -"

"Ah, it's you all!" A passerby man interjected, smiling. "I see you've found each other. That's good."

A short, awkward silence came over them, before Ludger said, "I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

The man chuckled. "What do I mean? You're the one who was asking me if a woman with long blonde hair had passed through here recently, and I told you she headed in the direction of the Kijara Seafalls. And just before that," he explained, gesturing to Milla, "she had come by and asked me if a man with two-toned hair had been here. So I'm glad you've found each other."

"Ah, right," Ludger nodded. "Yes, thank you for your help."

"You're welcome. You all have a good day, now," he said, walking past them.

"I think this confirms that this word's Milla must be the divergence catalyst," Ludger said, his expression somewhat solemn.

"I agree. But another Ludger?" Jude drummed his fingers along his wrist. "Does that mean the Ludger of this world is near here, too? Or did another Ludger from a different fractured dimension come here to destroy this one as well?"

"We can't be sure, but I think it would be safe to say it's probably the latter," Milla said. "What would happen if that Ludger destroyed this dimension before we were able to? Would will still return to the prime dimension, or would we be destroyed along with this one?"

Jude sighed slightly in thought. "We've never run into this kind of situation before. When Bisley and Vera explained it, they said that if the divergence catalyst is destroyed, we would return to the prime dimension. So I think we would be alright, but I don't think it would be wise to take our chances."

"And there's the chance that this Ludger isn't from another dimension," Ludger said.

Without wasting a second, Milla started for the path out of Hamil. "Then we should head for the Falls. We may still be able to catch up to them if we hurry."

The boys nodded, and they were hurriedly on their way, Jude a few paces behind Milla and Ludger behind him, tightly holding Elle's hand and keeping her close.

The walk to the falls was not particularly long - there were clear signs that someone had been through recently, as the monsters were few and far in between and footprints would show up here and there. In a way Jude had hoped there would be some kind of distraction, rather than this heavy silence that lasted the entire trip. It left him trapped in his thoughts, of the inevitable future that crept closer and closer to them.

Soon enough, the grass and trees changed into sand and rocks, and the sounds of the tree leaves rustling in the wind changed to the waves on the shore and the rush of the falls in the distance. It seemed peaceful, almost. It would have been, anyway, if their whole reason for being here didn't make Jude feel sick to his stomach.

The sense of pseudo-tranquility started to crack as soon as Milla was climbing up a ledge and suddenly lost her grip, dropping back down unsteadily.

"Are you alright?" Jude asked, taking two steps toward her.

"I'm fine. It's just slippery," Milla said, before turning over her hand and looking at the palm of her glove, which had become stained with a dark liquid.

"That's…" Jude said, his insides suddenly feeling as heavy as lead.

"Blood," she said, directing her attention back to the cliff. "Be careful."

She hoisted herself back up, Jude hurriedly following her, now keeping as close to her as he could. Ludger came next, pulling Elle up after before picking her up and gently bringing her head into his shoulder out of fear of whatever may lie ahead.

A fear which proved right, as Milla rounded the corner of the large rock and froze, her breath hitching in her throat loudly.

"Milla! What's -" Jude started, rushing to her side, though he, too, stopped short as he came upon the terrible scene.

On the ground in front of them laid two bodies - one of them was Ludger, head and torso covered in blood. In his hands he clutched his blades, and in his right one, the pocket watch as well. The injuries were a mixture of slices and some kind of bludgeons. Though no new blood was coming from his wounds, the blood that was there was still wet, still somewhat bright.

Next to him was Jude.

This Jude, too, was blood-soaked, his body overall in the same condition as Ludger's, though with no slices on him.

It was rather surreal, seeing not only Ludger but also himself dead like this, but there wasn't time to dwell. Perhaps Jude would have been more shaken if he wasn't mostly feeling relief - relief that he wasn't looking at what he had been half-expecting to be around the corner. He would rather have to witness this scene a thousand times than see what he had been thinking about constantly since the second he had realized what this world's catalyst must be.

"This Ludger and I must have come from another dimension to destroy this one," Jude said, giving a cursory glance over the bodies. "But something obviously stopped us. We've got to be careful." He looked over at Ludger, who gave him a single, decisive nod as he pressed Elle's head a bit more into his shoulder. He then lowered her down the opposite side of the cliff, following closely after.

Jude bit his lip. There was something off about what he was seeing, but he couldn't quite place what. And there wasn't time to think about it. He turned away from the rather gruesome scene, toward the downside of the cliff, but stopped as he realized Milla was behind him.

"Milla?" He said, turning his head to her. It hit him now that she had been totally silent since they turned the corner, and she hadn't moved an inch, either - she was completely still, her eyes transfixed on the corpses. And even now, she gave Jude no reply.

"Milla?" He repeated, a bit softer, before taking a step toward her and lightly placing a hand on her shoulder. Only then did it come to his attention that Milla was trembling, ever so slightly.

Her head turned quickly as she met Jude's gaze, and though it only lasted a split second, in that instant Jude felt his heart break - because in that instant Milla looked so _hurt, _so shaken and vulnerable it made Jude's chest ache. It made him want to pull her as close as he could, and run his hand through her hair and promise to be right next to her forever to make sure she never looked like again -

- but he couldn't. He couldn't, because that would only make the inevitable future of parting so much worse. After they went to Canaan, never again would be able to hold her, to hug her, to try to show or tell her how he felt. Soon he wouldn't be able to even put his hand on her shoulder like he was now. And that was just how things had to be.

He bit his tongue hard, hard enough that he tasted his own blood. It was unfair. There had to be something he could -

No. No. He couldn't want this. Even just wanting this was unfair to her.

"I'm sorry," Milla said, bringing Jude's mind back to the matter at hand. "I'm fine. Let's go." Her tone was its usual, her gaze back to her piercing, familiar expression. However, as she headed for the cliff and Jude's hand slid off of her shoulder, their hands skimmed each other, and for the briefest instant, Jude felt her fingertips curl around his.

And he followed her, closer than before.

A heavy silence covered the group as they continued to make their way through the Seafalls. Perhaps due to the weight of what they had passed by, perhaps due to the unpleasant prospect of what must come soon, or perhaps due to the extra caution they treaded with, not knowing when they would happen upon this world's Milla. It was likely it was all three.

Jude watched Milla carefully - each of her steps seemed somehow heavier but quicker than the one before it, as if she were using all her willpower to carry onward. It struck Jude as a little odd; just like he had been unsettled, but not deeply affected by seeing his own body, he hadn't expected Milla to have too many issues with putting an end to herself in this world, especially if she was a divergence catalyst. Yet with each passing second she seemed more nervous, almost, her breaths sometimes coming in forced, deep intakes. The strange feeling it gave him reminded him of when he had quickly looked over his other self and Ludger's bodies - something was off, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was -

A voice barely sounded over the roar of the waterfall close to them, and they all froze.

"...I think so. Let's stop for a minute… ...It's going to be alright…"

Jude felt his heart drop into his stomach and his brain freeze.

Within a second he ran through the natural arch of the rocks and around the bend, just in time to see himself press a kiss to the lips of the Milla of this world.

And now, as his heart stopped, he was able to place what had been bothering him since he saw the bodies. If Milla was the divergence catalyst, and, presumably, the one whom killed the other Jude and Ludger, then why was the other Jude's body completely lacking sword wounds, replaced by various bludgeons? In places where Jude always aimed?

He thought briefly again about Milla's heavy, quick, yet somewhat hesitant footsteps. She must have known, too.

His self from this dimension was holding the other Milla's face and her arms were wrapped around his back. They stood there for a moment, and in that time Jude became painfully aware that not only Ludger but also the Milla he knew had run forward with him, and now were standing next to him, their gazes all on the scene unfolding in front of them.

Two seconds or two years later, they broke apart and opened their eyes, the other Milla letting out a loud gasp and the other Jude whirling around to face them.

"Again," he said, holding an arm out in front of the other Milla protectively. "How many times are you going to do this?"

"Why did you abandon your duty as Maxwell?" Milla asked, stepping forward and placing her hand on the hilt of her sword.

"Isn't that obvious?" The other Milla came up to her Jude's side. "You should know that better than anyone else."

"You, too!" The other Jude said, his gaze fixated on his prime self. "This is the second time you've tried to stop us - why? Don't you want Milla's happiness? Don't _you _want to be happy?"

"Of course I do!" Jude said, clenching his fists. "But -"

"But nothing! One dimension - one dimension where we can be happy! Is that too much to ask for?" The other Jude stepped forward, his fists still raised.

"That's why I'm working so hard!" Jude retorted, his voice raised uncharacteristically, his hands trembling. "Not just so that the world doesn't rely on spyrix anymore, but so that humans and spirits can live peacefully together! So that… we…"

"They are past the point of reason," Milla said, now at Jude's side. She drew her sword, and glanced back at Ludger. "Ludger, can you confirm the catalyst?"

Ludger unsheathed his blades, taking a few steps forward so as to join them, and as he did, a flash of shadow emitted off the other Milla.

"You just don't want to hear it," the other Milla said, drawing her sword as well. "You know that even if spyrites become commonplace, even if other humans and spirits come to coexist… there is no way for the Lord of Spirits to be with a human."

"You've abandoned your duty," Milla said quickly. "You've betrayed the trust that everyone put in you as Maxwell's successor." She clenched tightly at her sword, so tightly she could feel every groove of the grip digging into her glove. "You are no longer me. Jude... don't hold back."

"Milla is still Milla!" In a split second's time the other Jude surged forward, bringing his fist down on his other self. "And I won't let you lay a hand on her!" 

Jude quickly brought his forearms up to parry the blow, before trying to go on the offensive. "Don't worry about me! Just do what you have to do!"

Ludger and Milla rushed past them, but the other Milla was two steps ahead, already in the air and soaring down between them. The protective water arte around her burst and sent Ludger flying several feet back, and Milla into the air before landing on her feet.

"Don't talk as if we're different people now," the other Milla said, each one of her sword swings being blocked like a mirror by her prime self. "You know exactly how I feel. How you feel -" 

Suddenly Milla thrust forward with all her strength, leaning her body into it so as to avoid the downstrike from her counterpart, and also leaving a gash in the side of her other self. The blood instantly began to pour out, and the other Milla was down on one knee, holding her side.

"Milla!" The other Jude sidestepped the next attack from his prime self, and then instead of going in for another strike, he leaped back, toward the other Milla.

However Milla had already raised her sword and was bringing it down.

"Not just your feelings - have you ever considered Jude's feelings? What he wants?" The other Milla said, struggling to keep herself upright.

Milla's hands shook and hesitated.

That moment of hesitation was all that was needed for the other Jude to jump forward and take hold of his Milla, moving them both out of the way, enough so that Milla's sword was sent running through his body rather than that of her fractured self.

"_Jude!" _

The desperate cry of his name came from not one, but both Millas.

As quickly as she had lowered it Milla drew back her now blood-coated sword, the liquid dripping vividly down her blade and onto her hands.

"Why did you do that?!" The other Milla cried, her voice thick, her eyes wet. She struggled not to fall over completely, holding her Jude up as his blood started to create a pool around them, bright against the white sand.

"Because I can't let something happen to you again," Jude replied, his voice strained and quiet. "I'm… so… sorry, Milla."

"Jude…!"

"We'll always… be together. That's… what you've always told me, right?"

"_Jude!"_

A second passed. The second stretched into a minute, into perhaps several minutes, into what may as well have been hours. They were frozen and silent. It was silent, save for the sound of the rushing waters of the falls, though even their roaring presence was barely acknowledgeable over the muffled yet deafening sounds of the other Milla's sobs into her Jude's shoulder.

Eventually, her head raised slowly. "Just do it," she said, her voice quiet. "There's no point anymore."

Ludger looked from Jude and then to Milla. They were completely still, their eyes transfixed on what was before them - something that seemed so surreal, and in a way, truly was. It was not real - this reality was not the prime one. Yet it still existed. The very fact that it was a reality that in front of them, and not a fantasy - as fractured as it was, it was real with reason.

A hesitant footstep drew Ludger closer, and then a second, quicker one followed as he activated his Chromatus.

"What would make you truly happy?" The other Milla said, her eyes moving slowly from her prime self, to Jude, then back again. "I advise you to think about that."

Ludger's spear went through her in a decisive motion, withdrawing just as swiftly. And then the world shattered.

Nia Khera quickly took shape around them. All was how it had been just before they left, yet a heavy, nearly asphyxiating feeling now took hold of the air around them.

"I'm heading to the riverbend," Milla said. Without delay she turned away from them and walked off the bridge. She began a quick pace along the river's side, yet against its flow, soon disappearing with it, beyond its curve into the outskirts of the village.

"You're not going to follow her?" Ludger asked quietly.

"I don't know if I should," Jude said, nearly inaudible. He finally tore his eyes away from where Milla had gone, turning the other way and gripping onto the bridge's railing.

Ludger shook his head, standing next to him. "That's not like you. I thought you'd be running after her in a heartbeat."

Jude looked down, biting his tongue. "I think if I did that, it might make things worse."

For a moment, Ludger was quiet. "She may want you there right now," he eventually said. "If… something like that happened to me… I would want that person with me. To know that they're there."

Silence came over them once again.

"Thank you, Ludger," Jude said, walking off the bridge in a swift motion. He then headed down to the river, running along the path Milla had taken.

He followed the curve into the village outskirts, toward the beginnings of the Spiritway, and just as the grass was turning more emerald than yellow and the trees were becoming abundant again, he came upon the riverbend.

Milla, of course, was there. She was kneeling at the river's edge, her hands dipped into the surface. Her sword was laid down close to her, completely submerged in the water.

"Jude," she said as he approached and sat beside her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm more concerned about you right now."

"I'm fine. But I can't imagine it's easy to see yourself die twice." Her eyes remained focused down on her hands, her body not moving an inch.

"It wasn't, but…" Jude turned his gaze to the water. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, things he wanted to say even before the recent events had unfolded, but now he found himself at a loss.

"Jude, what is it that you want?"

He looked back over at her. Milla's eyes were still fixated on her hands, her expression still impassive. Jude took a deep breath, his gaze wandering upwards, to the sky beyond the tree leaves. "I guess I can't ask you that first?"

A miniscule smile tugged at her lips for only a fleeting moment. "I will watch over humans and spirits as Maxwell. I will do everything in my power to protect them and this world."

"Even if you want that, too… there's not anything else you want?"

"I suppose it would be obvious at this point that I was lying if I said no," Milla said, her voice barely audible. She then shook her head. "But that doesn't matter. This is my duty."

"I know," Jude said, lowering his gaze to the water. "And I have a duty, too. To perfect spyrite technology." He paused, folding his knees up a bit, before adding quietly, "But I want to be with you."

Milla's hands flinched ever so slightly. "But that can't -"

Jude placed a hand on her shoulder, and Milla's head finally turned to him. "Milla," he said, bringing his other hand to her other shoulder. "I'm going to make spyrites replace all the spyrix. Not just because it's my duty. But because I want to be with you. Even if you're Maxwell. Even if we can't be together all the time. Because if mana isn't a concern, then… what's stopping us?"

Milla shook her head. "I have duties I need to fulfill. I can't simply be in the human world whenever I wish." She paused, looking down. "I… I don't want you to waste your time on something that can never be. I want you to be happy."

"Then I'll help you. Milla, I…" Jude bit his tongue, his eyes casting away. "When I first met you, I wanted to help you complete your mission. I still want that. But just as much… or more than that… I want you to be happy. ...I want to make you happy. So…" He looked up at her again, and ran his down to her wrists so that he could pull her hands close, holding them firmly but gently. "I promise. I'm going to make it so that whenever you want, whenever you can… we can be together."

A silence came over them. Milla remained motionless, kept her gaze away, while Jude watched her intently.

"So I have your word on that?"

Her voice was almost inaudible.

Jude turned so that he was facing her completely, and then shifted out of his sitting position so that he was on one knee. "Yes," he said quietly. He pulled one of her hands closer, pressing a feather-light kiss to the back of it. "I promise." 

He looked up, feeling his heart melt as he was met with the soft smile on Milla's face.

Eventually, he drew his hands back, and after glancing them over, Milla put them back into the water.

"Here," Jude said, leaning over the water. He put his own hands under the water and lightly took hold of Milla's, before gently rubbing at the fading blood stains. "I'm sure it'll come out if they soak for a few. ...Do you want to stay here for a bit?"

Again, Milla smiled at him. "That sounds lovely." 

She pulled her hands out of the water and unlaced her gloves, slipping them off and leaving the ends dipped into the water. Without much warning after that she fell back onto the grass, taking hold of Jude's sleeve on the way down so as to bring him next to her.

"This is nice," Jude said, turning onto his side to face her.

She nodded, but stopped short as a small shiver ran up her body.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," Milla said, running a hand up her now exposed forearm. "That water was just a bit chilly."

Without delay Jude sat up and removed his jacket, before carefully placing it over her.

"I said I was fine," Milla said, a small smile still on her face as Jude laid back down on his side.

"But isn't that better?"

Milla scooted closer, lifting his jacket and throwing it over him as well. "Now it is."

Jude brought his hand up to hers, and their fingers intertwined.

"I love you," he said. It wasn't a confession; it was something she knew. It had simply gone unsaid, because no good would have come from putting it into words. Even now, there was no real need. But now no pain could be wrought from it.

And so she said, "I love you too."


End file.
